I am not going to try and fill you in on those 2 years other than to say they were spent trying to keep our forest scouts employed (just managed), trying to find an investor for our carbon credits project (almost managed) and trying not to lose my mind (hotly debated) - not necessarily in that order. It really would have made for depressing reading mostly (I know it depressed me just living it!) but now I want to get back out there as things are finally MOVING and we are getting places at long last. Now the fun begins!
After a few very near misses with other groups, we have signed an agreement with a carbon mangement company in Australia who are sourcing finance for us and partnering us on the technical side during our intense VCS verification process ahead. And I am so glad the others fell through now! My contact there is young, bright and very cool. I have learnt so very much in the year we have been working together. I now have a green-geek partner in crime at last! (My husband has to physically leave the room in disgust when we Skype call as he is appalled by how excited we get about below-ground biomass, root shoot ratios and the numerous legal definitions of 'forests' in the various Acts... Sigh....*)
Our lease for Nyatana is with 3 councils, most of whom have a very basic level of education behind them (certainly no understanding whatsoever of carbon credits). So, once they hear we have some potential money coming in negotiations hot up and this suddenly becomes a long-winded and incredibly frustrating process. I must tell you I have attended TWENTY NINE meetings about the extension to get this achieved, over SEVEN months. A typical meeting goes like this.....
1. Call all 3 councils to set meeting up...
2. Can only reach 2 as signal is bad in the rural areas...
3. After 5 days trying give up and cancel meeting... decide to drive to all councils to book meeting in person...
4. Drive 3 hours to Council 1 and agree time for meeting...
5. Drive further 3 hours on VERY bad dirt roads to get to Council 2...
6. Councillor not around. Told to wait half an hour until 2pm.
6. Councillor not around. Told to wait half an hour until 2pm.
7. Wait until 3 then ask again...
8. Told to go to District Administrator's (DA's) office 30 minutes down the road to see Councillor
9. Drive to DA’s office...
10. Get out and get accosted by 20+ school kids shouting ‘murungu, murungu’ (‘white person, white person’) and trying to touch my hair... (I know it could do with a brush - but no need to make a scene..)
11. Wade through children and get to DA’s office...
12. Councillor has now returned to his office 30 mins away...
13. Drive back to Council offices, meet Councillor, agree meeting time for next week...
14. Two down, one to go... great! But too late now to drive to 3rd council before dark, in fact getting anxious as will be driving one of Zim’s worst roads in the dark now to get home...
15. Mutter under breath...
16. Drive as fast as possible on said very bad dirt road to try to reach main road before dark...
17. Hit a sheep (yes really...)
18. Stop the car, try not to look directly at dead sheep....
19. Walk into bush to try and find owner of sheep...
20. Take abuse for running over sheep (that by law should not have been allowed to run freely along the road)
21. Pay owner 4 x what sheep is worth
22. Set off again for main road (definitely not reaching main road before dark now)
23. Have a cry about hitting sheep...
24. Have flat tyre
25. Pull over, climb into back of Cruiser to get spare...
26. Spare is so heavy can barely get it off the back...
27. Spend one hour changing tyre, watched by different crowd of 20+ kids shouting "murungu, murungu..."
28. Now it is really dark.
29. Try not to hit any more sheep
30. Wake up at crack of dawn next morning to drive to Council 3 to book meeting
31. Drive home without further event, looking forward to meeting on Tuesday!
32. On Monday phone all councils - just to CONFIRM meeting for tomorrow... Excited!
33. 2 councils say they can’t attend...
34. Repeat steps 4 to 32 above..
35. FINALLY have meeting booked for 10 am (14 attendees)...
36. 10 am arrives...
37. 3 of the 14 are on time.
38. 11am arrives... 3 more arrive... YAY!
39. 12.30am... All present – hooray – meeting can start!
40. As the only woman there, get asked to take minutes as usual... feel extremely respected and important (not).
41. Councils start meeting off by saying, they will sign the lease extension (yay!) – IF we agreed to giving them 40% of our income (NO... not even profit... INCOME) – WTF?????????
42. One councillor falls asleep on the desk for entire meeting (one less to contend with I suppose...)
43. Negotiations continue while Abe tries to explain the concept of risk versus reward...
44. Finally they agree to sign the extension after running it through their Councillors at home..
The process above continues ad infinitum with councillors forgetting what they agreed in the previous meeting and creating new demands each time - most recently being: 1 x new Land Cruiser for each council, 1 x satellite internet system each, board room furniture, photocopying machine, 3 laptops and printers each... Sure... (While we're giving out free vehicles would anyone else like one????)
Anyway, I had my last meeting booked for 10 am last Wednesday morning (after 2 cancellations). I drive out there to the Council to find out that the councillor is out in the lands with the Minister. OK, I’ll wait... He will be back at 12:00. At 12:30 I phone and he tells me to go to the Pumpkin Hotel (not as fairytale-like as it sounds I can assure you) to meet him. I arrive there, he is not there. I phone again, he tells me to wait, he will be back by 3pm. SURE! I wait. (I have attached a pic of what was on the floor in reception to welcome guests – a hyena skin – yes), and the Council office loo... cherry on top.
17.30 he finally arrives and signs the extension. The Chairman who needs to countersign has now gone home so I have to go with the Councillor into the township to the Chairman's house so he can sign. He signs, but not before reminding me that we promised him a cellphone (did we???)...
And that's how you do business over here! (And I moaned for all those years in London about having to wears heels and a suit, and the 'difficult' clients I had to deal with! Ha!) Fate has a sense of humour that's for sure..
Fun times.
