Week from hell (and I'm not only talking about the heat)

In a state of mild exhaustion after a mad week or so. I am sitting in the open chalet on the mine watching Sky News and feeling very (nasty and mean and) smug as I watch the weather report – minus 3 degrees – you poor souls!!!! (Never mind the fact that it is 7.20am and I am already shiny with sweat....)

I have spent the last week or so stroking egos of various sizes. (Sheesh – just another day in the Smit family you say...? No – hunters, hunters, hunters!) We had some Namibian hunter friends of Dad's up to do some problem animal control work in our area whom I had to set up camp for and cater for. (Problem Animal Control (PAC) is where animals who are a menace to the disadvantages local communities (such as aggressive crocodiles), or who are badly injured for example, are put on a list for humane culling by professional hunters. This type of hunting is not for trophies and all the skins/meat etc goes to the local communities.) I then had some clients from Europe to show around the mine in my Dad’s absence.

My last week has been as follows:

Saturday – Pick up hired goods from hire company for hunt in torrential rain. Complain. Dry out. Plan journey for Sunday.

Sunday – Wake up at 5, pack truck, manoeuvre tarpaulin over truck with maximum struggle and minimum success, pack to go. Wait. Wait some more. Told hunters are delayed. Complain more.

Monday – Wake up at 5, hit the road to go and set up camp 3 hours away, have fight with tarpaulin mid-journey, tarpaulin wins. Have allergic reaction to some chemical/powder (results similar to battery acid I tell you) that was on tarpaulin when we had the fight... face maroons, lips swell, can’t wash face as cooler-box with water packed at the bottom of the pile on the back of truck. Reach the council 2 hours away, see tap outside, sprint to wash face, water brown, close mouth to avoid cholera, viciously wipe off brown water with shirt, forget shirt was fighting with tarpaulin too, process repeats itself. Complain more loudly. Arrive at camp (beautiful!), mood improves as amazing Nyatana workers (from the passing out parade fame!) put up tents and refuse to let me help. 40 degrees though, face still burning. Check out the ablutions. Ablutions consist of a long-drop toilet (basically a deep hole in the ground which would be covered up after use) enclosed by a little room made of reeds. Then there was a little stand with a toilet seat on the top balanced (poorly) over the hole. A very tall stand I may add – upon testing my feet didn’t reach the ground and I was terrified some accident would befall me and I would have to be rescued from the loo-hole covered in you-know-what so I gave that a miss. Yikes! The shower room was also made of reeds gathered from the river and consisted of a bucket on a rope slung over a tree with a shower nozzle and tap sticking out the side. Best shower ever as you can see the sky! The Nyatana guys did a wonderful job of a little thatched kitchen are along with a table all made from branches, reeds and thatch. Very homely! 1pm, camp set-up finished, wait for hunters to arrive, 4pm, wait for hunters to arrive. 7pm, wait for hunters to arrive. 10pm stop waiting for hunters to arrive, go to bed. Sharing tent with 2 menfolk so try to undress under sheet, manage to get hundreds of thorns hitch-hiking on my jeans stuck on my sheet. Complain a bit more.

Tuesday – Hunters arrive at 1am! Ignore and sleep through. Wake up at half four to get the fire going for hunters’ coffee. Camp now has 17 men including Nyatana workers... and me. Hunters wake up and suddenly realise that there is a WOMAN in camp! OH. MY. GOD. Pack the trucks and go home – a woman! For God’s sake! All 7 hunters’ noses massively out of joint. They had cleary planned five days of no showering, eating no vegetables, wearing dirty sock, swearing, spitting, drinking and generally acting like animals and here I was spoiling all of it! Much stomping of tantrummy feet! Tried to ignore cross hunter looks (made worse by the way they were gripping their guns!) and had a look at what food they bought with them so I could plan some meals. (As our lodges are still being built they brought all their own food/tents etc.) What a mistake. No offence to all you organised men out there (all 4 of you) but MEN CANNOT PACK. I was faced with a box the size of a suitcase with chilli sauce and spices and braai spice alone, then a small box with some baked beans, rice and some rusks, 4800 beers and about 300 lamb chops. That’s it! Loo paper clearly wasn’t a priority but then again they packed NO vegetables, maybe that’s why. And nothing to cook in. Maybe they expected me to cook Neanderthal style with a stick over a fire? Turns out that was not far from the truth in the end. Hunters went out after coffee tracking an injured elephant for the whole day during which I tried to concoct 10 different ways to cook lamb chops over the next 5 days. Thrilling. Got bored of that. Read a bit in the tent. Inside tent temperature reached about 1148 degrees, gave up when book got too soggy from sweat to read. Went for a walk. Turned back after 3 and a quarter minutes due to impending heatstroke. Tried some fruit growing on a bush. Didn’t die. Thought about how I couldn’t WAIT to cook over a nice hot fire! Hunters get back all buoyed full of huntery testosterone after a successful hunt, bellowing for dinner. Well what a feast I prepared... lamb chops, rice and beans... wow, I was so proud! Knew I would have to retire early in shame. Not before telling the rudest jokes I knew round the fire over drinks which broke the ‘woman-in-camp’ ice and lightest the atmosphere considerably! Tried to shower avoiding the gaoss in the reeds, funnily enough positioned almost perfectly round my rude bits. AMAZING shower, looking up at the stars, nice breeze with bush-smells floating in, cicada sounds. Made up for everything.

Wednesday – (STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH ABOUT HUNTING!) Go to see how the elephants are skinned and how the meat is distributed to the local communities. More serious mood now. Worried I might shame myself by bursting into oestrogen-fuelled tears at the sight of the fallen ellies. Was actually fine, the hunt was done very quickly humanely and the fact that the communities were benefiting (some haven’t eaten meat for more than a year) made it a lot easier to bear, circle of life and all that. They were very respectful and followed their traditional rights and blessings every bit was put to use. The female was a very old lady who had stepped on a landmine a year or so before so her foot was half-blown off and pretty rotten. This meant she wasn’t able to get her food the normal way so was raiding villagers’ crops (their only source of food) which was much easier! She was also apparently VERY cheeky because of the pain she was in and was attacking local villagers on a daily basis, including children. The skinning began and I was incredibly impressed by the skill of the locals. I won’t go into too much detail as I know this is a touchy subject for many but it was actually a very natural thing to watch, something these tribes would have been doing for centuries. Moving on, spent hot 5 hours waiting for the meat to be distributed correctly then returned with the hunters to the camp for lunch. Temperatures are pushing 2000 degrees surely. Cook lunch over the fire (lamb chops – how did you guess?). Am so thoroughly sunburnt and the fire is bellowing heat at me like some kind of volcanic furnace. I can tell you the fire was not that bloody hot at 4.30am when I was trying to boil water quickly! The hairs are singing off my forearms and I am so burnt and hot and purple in the face that I can’t actually figure out whether it is the sun or the fire that is singeing my little arm hairs to white little curly balls! Serve lunch then begin immediately on dinner for later so I can return to the mine that afternoon. Bolognese made with braai spice, salt and vinegar spice and chutney due to absence of any other bolognesy-type ingredients... yum I know!! Get into the car and for the first time in 3 days see my face which is plum-coloured by now. I am furious with myself for letting myself get my face burned but it calms down after an hour or so of driving with the window open and is actually now just a mauvish colour. Whack on the ipod and speed all the way to the mine singing at the top of my lungs, scaring cyclists and cattle on the side of the road. Arrive at the mine 2 hours later hoarse, burnt to a crisp and FILTHY with Damien wondering what the hell I have been doing with myself and whether I chased down the elephants with my bare hands! Find out Zack has malaria (better now!) so have last minute rush trying to arrange someone else in town to help me ferry clients around tomorrow. Sleep like a baby under my lovely mozzi net and thorn-less sheets. Snore thoroughly.

Thursday – Drive 2 hours to home in Harare. Unpack. Go back out to do grocery shopping for clients for the next day or so. Catering again – YAY! Make sure there are NO lamb chops on the menu. Rush home, shower, pick up clients for dinner. Have lovely dinner at Amanzi Restaurant and managed to keep my eyes open all night (with great effort). Dropped them all off and got home to pack for the next night at the quarry. Still sunburnt.

Friday – Pick up clients at 7.30Aam. Drive 2 hours to the mine. Making conversation considerable difficult as only 2 speak English and the rest just talk to themselves in Portuguese. Try to keep yawning to a minimum (once every 3 minutes). Nod and smile at all the talk about how big the one client’s house is, the fact that it has an elevator, the fact that he has saved $100K for each of his kids to do what they like with, as well as a flat each. Start wondering what I would do with $100 grand. Stop after a few minutes due to depression brought on by thoughts of what one could be doing rather than listening to ‘look how rich I am stories’. (OK, and I am a teensy bit jealous of the elevator...)

Arrive at quarry, feed and water clients. Realise they are drinking beer at a rate far faster than my little stash of beer will allow. Panic. They get a tour of the quarry and seem happy enough. Go and pick up our entertainment for the evening. We have an incredible traditional dance group that perform for us from our local junior school. I squash 18 children and 4 adults (yes really!) into the back of my truck and drive at snail’s pace up to our camp where they will perform later. Pick up clients and take them up to the camp. Dancers go done very well. I certainly get goose-bumps. They are all dressed in traditional gear, the boys on the drums and with headgear with feathers in, the girls with shakers on their legs. It really was stunning and what a professional performance! Was very proud! Cooked (again) and sat round the fire yo-yoing between the fridge and thirsty clients and left at the end of the evening to go and sleep down at the quarry. Alan, who was helping me transport the clients slept on the roof-rack of our Patrol under the stars which thoroughly amused the clients! Fell into bed. Still sunburnt.

Saturday – Cook breakfast. (Complain under my breath.) Swear I will not cook a morsel for anyone for at least a month. Hurry clients into car so we can rush them to the airport in Harare. Another 2 hour drive. MORE money talk. Try to stop clients taking pictures of every local we see on the road and a couple of government officials we pass on the road! Drop clients at airport, heave a sigh of relief and whizz out of the airport carpark only to scratch my Dad’s car on the side of the ticket booth in my haste to escape. Fight the urge to cry. Drive slowly home. Unpack. Crawl into bed for a sleep. Still sunburnt.

ANYWAY! I am much rested now and feeling more spritely. Looking forward to the Christmas period. Damien and I are going to spend a few days in Victoria Falls and we are all off to Lake Kariba for five days over New Year so that will be great. The quarry will close from the 19th of Dec to the 11th of Jan so will be lovely to have Damien around! Will give you another update before then I’m sure. Take care everyone! And please send news.x Oh, and id I mention we now have a crocodile in our swimming pool. Don't ask.

PS: I have added some photos of the passing out parade - I was having trouble uploading last month. One of the guys marching, one of the play about arresting poachers, one of the river, and some cow legs!

DAMIEN’S LATEST:

I’ve slipped in to African life pretty easily so far which has been a nice surprise, I’m going to be based at the mine until after Xmas which is not a bad thing as my role is slowly starting to get more interesting.

Not sure if you got my last update but I’m now in charge of getting the community projects up and running again, these projects are run through a trust fund and the money can only be invested in to projects that will generate income for the community or something that is for the good of the community (they were stopped during the political trouble last year), some of the projects are:

· Setting up the quarry medical centre for the workers and expecting or new mothers.
· Brick making project – the bricks are bought by the mine off the community at a small profit, they can also sell the bricks to surrounding businesses
· Gum tree seedlings – We cultivate the seedlings and donate them to the community to plant, once they have grown to a certain level we purchase the trees from the community as the wood is strong and is used for putting the granite blocks on when trucking it across the country
· Organising the refurbishment and building of the workers compound
· Ensuring the recent donation of mosquito nets are distributed to the workers and their families that live in the local community

It’s not all been work though, the weekends have been fairly social as there is usually something going in Harare or there is some sort of BBQ/party to attend.

We went to a gun fair a couple of weeks ago, where you could shoot anything from a 500 rifle to a hunting bow and arrow, I opted to play safe and had a go shooting a 9mm pistol, you got 8 bullets to shoot at 4 targets, of which 1 was moving. Now I took in to account my level of experience with fire arms and also made it clear to guys running the stall that this was the first time shooting a pistol but I still don’t think it softened the embarrassment of Celia going after me and completely beating my score or the fact that 12 year old boy who went after her also kicked my backside (what a man Damo, what a man).

I’ve actually learnt to drive within the space of 2 weeks and I’m now the designated beer-fetcher from the local bottle store, which is an experience in itself I tell you! There are about 3 buildings in this one settlement and they still make sure one of them sells alcohol!

I’ve found a local football team in Harare to start getting involved in and went along to watch them on Saturday playing in their 5th cup final of this year, so the danger signs should have been blaringly obvious but surely the standard in Zimbabwe wasn’t going to be too high? I couldn’t have been more wrong as the team has 1 ex-international, 4 ex-Zimbabwean premier league players and also a player who came back to Zim after playing with Luton Town for a couple of seasons. They were pretty good to say the least and fortunately for me they have a B team so there still might be hope...

The only big issue is that our shipping was supposed to have arrived about 3 weeks ago, so either all our belongings are sitting at the bottom of the ocean or there are a few locals who now have an extensive DVD collection and are running around in some very camp white canvass trainers...

Nyatana Passing Out Parade and other October news...

Hi everyone! Hope you are all getting on OK and getting used to winter again... boo! We had our first rains in Harare yesterday and I went for a run on our land in the rain which was amazing... for about 10 minutes, then it turned into a bit of a soggy, itchy affair because of all the long, wet grass! Even saw a sodden little grey bunny which is about the extent of wildlife you find in Harare..

We have had a busy few weeks! I have been busying myself finishing of the FINAL (yeah right) prospectus so we can start selling these darn carbon credits. Work has been on and off as we get a couple of power-cuts a day and I have had a few white knuckled moments where I haven’t noticed and my battery’s gone flat... holy Moses! Anyway, I think that is done now. I have also put together one for our Mozambique project which we are just waiting for the lease agreement on. It is called Chipembere which means ‘rhino’ in the local language. The Mozambican Project has issues we haven’t faced on the Nyatana Project in Zimbabwe. For one, deforestation is much more of an issue for them because of the extreme weather they get with the cyclones etc – it is a huge factor in the extent of flooding that they experience. If we can get the trees back in and improve the soils the communities will experience much fewer of the effects of the flooding. The other factor is the poaching... at Nyatana it is small-scale poaching of small to medium animals for food by locals using mainly home-made snares and traps (horrible enough as it is). In Mozambique, however, it is a far slicker operation and the poachers are well-equipped – and well-armed! They are after bigger game such as elephants, for money. So it is pretty evident that this project is going to need a lot more man-power and investment to be able to contain this larger scale poaching.

Anyway, back to Nyatana... As you know we have been training men from the local communities as Forest Scouts. This involves learning about tracking, wildlife, plant species, bush skills, anti-poaching patrolling and all the bush skills needed to see off poachers, illegal fisherman doing netting, illegal gold-panners and to ensure people are not coming onto the land to cut down trees or start fires. Last Friday thirty of them finished their training and we held a passing out parade for them at Nyatana so the locals could celebrate and they could receive their certificates. They would also be able to show everyone a bit of their drill-work (they were trained by an ex-SAS gentleman.... ahem...).

It was quite something to organise! First we had to arrange invitations for everyone... no mean feat considering there is no postal service, phone lines, mobile signal or email in this area at all! Nyatana land falls under the jurisdiction of no less than three councils so the relevant councillors, MPs, Heads of Police etc had to be invited for each Council then the Chiefs and Village Heads (and wives.s.s.s.s.s.s....!) from the 6 villages we work with. From Harare we had to invite the people we have been dealing with at the conservation organisations (CAMPFIRE and National Parks) and various Ministers who have jurisdiction with regards the environment or conservation. We also had all the workers at Nyatana, and of course the 30 guys who were passing out (as in graduation... not fainting... though how they didn’t pass out from the heat in their overalls I don’t know!). So we had 80-90 mouths to feed and butts to seat.

Food was the next problem. We had to bring most of it in from Harare including drinking/cooking water and hundreds of beers! They had also organised vast quantities of their traditional beer – Scuds! We had to arrange a cow to be slaughtered to feed everyone. Then we had to try and find big enough pots to cook the beef stew in and also the relish and sadza (staple food made of maize meal). I don’t think I have ever bought so many onions and tomatoes in one go – or ever will! I think I bought 200 tomatoes! We were lucky enough to be lent a truly gargantuan pot – practically a bath tub from the local mission hospital along with some benches and plates and bits and pieces. The rest I had to hire from Harare – tables, chairs, glasses, plates, cutlery etc. This came out to Nyatana on the back of a three tonne lorry, miraculously intact! The cow was butchered and cut up and put into a stew the night before the party. All the gory bits from the cow like the head and the stomach tail and all that funny business was used too in a separate ‘special’ stew – nothing was wasted. Yum? Hhmmmm... The hind legs were saved for braai (BBQ) meat . Not what I expected when I walked into the kitchen – two massive cow legs hanging up from the ceiling with their socks still on! All the food was cooked on fires outside and seemed to go off without a hitch.

We had cleared an area next to our camp and put out the chairs etc. There was a slight issue regarding the removal of a puff adder that had taken up residence under a tree root a few metres away but on the morning of the parade we found his skin – completely intact, which he must have been shedding in his little nook under the root - but he had disappeared. The guys also erected some make-shift benches out of the ceiling poles we have ready to build our A-frame lodges with.

People started arriving at about 11.00 and put us to shame in our shorts and slip-slops... all dressed to the nines for the occasion - the chiefs particularly so! One had an ancient pith helmet on and they all had a smart jacket with various badges on to show their status. About 12.30 the ceremony began. It was very hot and I learnt a lesson here... make sure you seat people in the shade next time! It was baking down. Lots of speeches by various important people then onto the main event... I haven’t had goose-bumps like that for years! These scouts (up to now out of sight) came jogging down the hill from behind a massive baobab tree 30 deep voices singing in harmonies in Shona. It was achingly beautiful and I forgot for a few moments that I was chief photographer! You have never seen a group of prouder more upright men in your lives! I felt so privileged to be part of that day. They did some amazing drills, and then each got presented with certificates (which I designed... I knew all that PowerPoint work would come in handy some day!!!). Those who excelled were also presented with watches.

The icing on the cake was a selection of plays performed in Shona to entertain everyone. These were done both by a couple of forest scout guys and also by a troupe who work on my Dad’s mine led by ‘Happy Chicken’ the director’s nickname) who did educational plays about the forests and conservation to the villages when we first did our road-shows explaining our project and getting the Chiefs’ go ahead. For sure these showed me that language and culture are really not barriers – they were HILARIOUS! There was lots of over the top fight scenes with poachers and violet gold panners and it really broke the ice with all the audience! I did take my photos discretely as the last time Happy Chicken did a play of this nature my brother filmed it on his little camera and was promptly asked for money for ‘filming rights’ by Happy Chicken who had already been paid ‘acting fees’ and director’s fees’! And this is from a drama troupe in the middle of the bush with very little access to media of any source – amazing!

Then it was time for food! I ran around like a woman possessed fetching more (and then MORE) meat for greedy... I mean HUNGRY... VIPs who thought the stew might not be quite MEATY enough... (it was a whole cow for crying out loud!). While it all started off in a pretty civilised fashion it did turn into a bit of a bun-fight by the end... You will be surprised how quickly an entire cow can disappear before your very eyes! Then we cleared up (clearing up after 100 gives ‘clearing the table’ a whole new meaning I can tell you! I’m just glad I won’t be the one washing those Rooneys’ table-cloths!) At last, at about 4pm while everyone else has full tummies and are four sheets to the wind, I crack open my first beer... much to the consternation and wide-eyed shock of the local chiefs... a woman – DRINKING BEER!!! Quell horreure!! Well, you can’t win them all...

That night we sat under a baobab tree to watch the flowers open. They only boom at a certain time of year and only at night. They usually open from a round pod the size of my fist to fully open in 15 minutes so you can see the unfurling of the petals with the naked eye. Well it wasn’t exactly 15 minutes this time.. it dragged and dragged, probably because of how full the moon was, so Damien, Zack (my brother) and I went down into the white sandy beach of the dry river bed and lay out there for the rest of the night. Bliss!

Damien has also had an exciting few weeks – he has had his first African rainstorm and has started driving lessons with the guys at the quarry. He is now the designated driver when they drive round the quarry or down to the bottle store after work down the dirt roads to buy beer. I think he is LOVING it! What a way to learn... I on the other hand have negative patience a screamed ‘BRAAAAAAAAAAAKKEE!’ like a banshee in the throes of death about 8 seconds into our first drive together... I practically hand my feet on the dashboard I was bracing so hard! I think I’ll leave the teaching to the men if I want to keep hold of my diamond for the future...! I think he also has more to sink his teeth into at work as well which is good. He also shot his first handgun and a fair held at the local shooting range! I will let Damo tell you more himself as he is going to appear as ‘guest speaker’ on this blog on a frequent basis from now on... His first entry written a week ago or so is below... more to come!

DAMIEN: 28 October 2009


“So moving in to week 4 of African life and so far so good, I'm still based at the mine and will be until the new year, but sporadically going out to the project when I can.
The volume of work on the project has really picked up for Celia, she's been giving the responsibility of co-ordinating the passing out parade for the forest rangers (not sure if that's official title but it sounds cool) but given the fact she is disturbingly organised I don't think it will be too much hassle (she will beg to differ on that point), in all fairness it’s a lot of pressure because all the local MP’s, councillors and heads of the forestry commission will be present but she seems to be coping.

Celia has really been grafting to get the prospectus ready so she can start concentrating on the marketing and selling of the credits to businesses in Europe, it’s been a frustrating time for her due to various hold ups but I think now she will start to see all her hard work pay off.
It’s been a strange week or two as Celia has been based in Harare for most of the time and I've been at the quarry, so really looking forward to going out to project together tomorrow for a couple of nights, I’ve been told that for the party the local brew is on the menu and lucky old me is being given the opportunity to sample some of this amber nectar, something tells me that once again I’ll have another embarrassing drunken story to relay next week.

The rainy season is heading this way and I got the first taster on Monday, and holy Mary, Jesus and his disciples - it was impressive, even coming from the wettest country in the world I've never seen anything like it, within literally 15 minutes the place was completely flooded but apparently it was only a passing shower, usually it last for 3 days (can't wait).

The role I'm doing at the mine is still interesting but can be a little frustrating due to some days not having anything to do for hours on end but gradually my tasks are increasing. Today I was made stationary monitor(!!!!! )which was a great privilege and shows that the management teams level of faith in my abilities is increasing even though they are still reeling from the fact I don't drive and my knowledge of the mechanical workings of any machinery is not normal for any real man!!!! So what if my fiancé can change a fan belt, she knows what a cam-shaft is and used to be a rally driver, I have plenty of skills as well!!! I bake a fantastic cheese, potato and asparagus flan, no one gets it as light and fluffy as me!!

On a serious note (for once) my duties are going to increase dramatically over the next week or two, a lot of projects that the mine had set up were stopped during the last elections due to various expected difficulties but I’ve been given the responsibility of starting things up again, so I’m now heading up Quenya Community Trust Project. The quarry pays a set amount each month into a trust fund, the money can only be used by the community to invest in projects to generate income.


Current projects:


- Brick making machinery
- Gum tree plantation

Projects pending:

- Tailoring workshop – we need to buy the machinery and cloth, so the locals can make work overalls and sell them to the surrounding mines and other businesses
- Grinding mill – to make oils and flour and maize meal


I’ve also been put in charge of setting up the medical centre again, this will provide medical advice and essential medical treatment to the mine workers and the community, such as paediatric care. I need to employ a state registered nurse and import all the much needed medical supplies to run the operation (Sam, if you’re reading this, this could be your first role in the medical world...)

It looks like I’ve been appointed head coach for one of the quarry/local football teams, the vetting process wasn’t exactly the norm for such prestigious position, I brought the team two footballs as the one they had lacked the ability of containing air for more than 60 seconds and now I’m running the operation!!

I can’t wait to see the disappointment on their faces when the fat white Englishman is throwing up in the middle of the pitch after running for 5 minutes and the fact he couldn’t hit a buffalo’s backside with a shovel, I’ll keep you posted on our rise to the top of the African football world.
Celia has accidently found her new calling as a tour guide in Zimbabwe, it happened whilst on our way to Lake Chivero, basically the alleged, and I quote “ it’s about a 20/25 minute drive out of Harare” journey ending up being about a 200 mile 5 hour round trip to nowhere but at least the scenery was pretty just a shame we never made it to lake to cool off in the sweltering heat.
It’s going to be a busy but exceptionally exciting couple of weeks, I’m sure we’ll have plenty to report in the next update.”

Pics to follow everyone... having trouble with the uploader right now. Go well!

Good morning world! We’re baaaa-aack...! How nice it is to be writing to you from AFRICA! I am sitting writing this under an open thatched rondavel on my Dad’s quarry in Mutoko (about 2 hours out of Harare) with a breeze blowing through and the sounds of the quarry in the background and the smell of dust and engine oil in the air. Yum!

We have been here a week now and settling into the heat and the new pace of life. The flight was sooooo long! 7 hours to Abu Dhabi, 3 hour stop-over, 8 hours to Joburg, 5 hour stop-over then 2 hours to Zim. We were extremely lucky with our luggage as we were about 20kg overweight between us and we weren’t charged by either airline. No delays, nothing! However, I did wake up on my first morning in Zim feeling like death and ended up at the doctors in the afternoon. Tonsillitis and ear infection on my first day! God really does have a sense of humour...

Anyway we are up and running now and have been based on the quarry since Monday while we do the finishing touches on the final prospectus before we start approaching potential contacts to start selling our carbon credits. Nyatana (our project site) is about 2 hours from here so it is a good base for us to commute back and forward as we need to. It is also set up with email and a generator etc so is far more comfortable in the meantime. I will be taking our first trip down to Nyatana tomorrow. We have a number of locals doing a 2 week course on anti-poaching, tracking and bush skills in preparation for them joining our team of Forest Rangers. I will be dropping some food out there for them for the duration. We will be having a passing out parade on the 30th of October where we will invite all of the local officials and some key environmental specialists to celebrate their ‘graduation’. This will probably entail a spit-roast of some sort (probably goat!) and lots of beer! We want to get everyone involved from the start so everyone feels part of the project. Big party African-style! (“Dindindi....!”) : )

For the next couple of months, we are staying in some beautiful lodges my Dad built on the top of a kopje behind his quarry. They have a fantastic view and we have started a vegetable and herb garden here to try and be as self-sufficient as possible. It is proving difficult as the goats eat all the herbs and the monkeys eat all the veggies and fruit! My Dad has planted an orchard at the back of our camp (mangos, guavas, mulberries, apples, limes and a cashew nut tree!) and it has been monkey heaven! I don’t hold much hope for my new little veggie garden... I also bought a hanging basket of flowers for outside our lodge and they lasted 1 day before being noshed by locusts! Sheesh...

Damien is helping out on the quarry temporarily until we start getting some money in from the credits which will enable us to start on many of the projects that are on pause at Nyatana while waiting for funds. He has taken to quarry life like a fish in water (or should I say like a baboon in a tree...?)! His working day starts at 7am and he walks the 6km (+/-4 miles) from our lodges to the actual quarry offices every morning leaving at 5.45am! He is trying to keep fit but all of the local quarry workers are outraged because I drive down at about 8am and they think I am refusing to drop him and making him walk!!! That is hardly the way things work in the Shona culture...! Ha ha! Otherwise he is really getting stuck in and getting filthy which is a great start. He is attacking this all with such gusto – it is great to watch. It is pretty hot here – about 35 degrees at the moment but it is already baking by 7am. Their working day is planned accordingly and so they start at 7am and have lunch at 11am then finish at 4.30pm which is weird but nice as we have more free time at night. It is also pretty dusty and LOUD with all the blasting and machinery around so has taken getting used to. However, once everything shuts down at 4.30pm and we go back up to our camp it is so lovely and quiet and calm and at night we are surrounded by cricket and cicada sounds and pookie’s (bush-babies’) calls . We have a spectacular view from there and we sit outside cooling down with beers until it’s dark, then cook on our fire at night and sit round the fire for ages talking and feeling very lucky!!

I have attached some pics of our camp and Damien’s “office” and the quarry and will send some more dusty news after I have been to Nyatana. In the meantime will be keeping my eyes out for a meerkat...

Preparing for the adventure

47 MORE SLEEPS TO GO!

I am on the verge of a life-changing experience. Lucky? Immensely. Terrified?? 100 percent!!!

I (I should say 'we'... will explain later...) have finally taken the decision to go home. Having spent 7 years in the rat-race that is London and trying to force my little Zimbabwean mind to accept that 'home' may never be a realistic possibility other than for those snatched weeks of holiday every year, times have finally changed and the perfect opportunity has just risen it's pretty head.

A switch has flicked in my brain now and I am already sitting on the edge of the river in spirit, listening to thunderstorms, watching fireflies. (This does make concentrating on Risk Management principles and Compliance culture slightly more of a challenge than usual, you can understand...) I don't think I have looked forward to something so much since I was a child!

What a privileged position to be in.

Now, back to the 'we'... The WE part is that my very British fiance is joining me... (This is the man who sees geckos as man-eating dragons and wall-spiders as vicious killers. Oh dear...) This will be an adventure for him to say the least! The fact that he is yet to learn to drive, change a tyre, work a GPS, shoot a gun or wrestle crocodiles makes this coming year a drama in the making... And boy is he looking forward to it! He is an 'African-to-be', an African in training... I am looking forward to watching him succumb to our wilderness like we all have...

I set up this blog (..why is 'blog' such a nasty word?! Always makes me think of something toiletish...) to track our progress over the next year as it is going to be such a change from London living and also because I am hoping it will encourage other people to take the plunge and do something wild. (Do it!) I think it will also help keep me sane as we will be spending a lot of time in a very remote part of this earth and you can start to forget that the rest of the world exists! My main focus will be our progress in setting up home in the bush and getting the project up and running and successful. Africa being Africa, we are likely to have more than our fair share of break-downs, near misses with wild animals, language issues etc. I'm hoping to provide some entertainment for your troubles...

We will be leaving London on the 6th of October and spending a few days with friends and family in Joburg before flying onto Harare where our family home is, which will be our weekend base while we are getting things up and running. The project will be based in Nyatana which is in the north-east near the Mozambican border, and right on the edge of a stunning stretch of the Mazowe River.

A bit about the project:

- The project focuses on reforestation and avoided deforestation on a 60,000 hectare piece of land.

- 6 local villages will be involved who will directly benefit from this project in a number of ways (income from jobs like planting and anti-poaching patrols, better farming methods, income from the sale of carbon credits, help with problem animal control such as rogue elephants, better access to 'clean' firewood for cooking and reeds for weaving, cleaner water, local business initiatives etc...)

- Main income generators for us will be from the sale of carbon credits (to Europe etc.) from the forests involved and income from hunts generated from the hunting of animals on the cull list or problem animal control (POC) list. (Local communities also get all the meat from these hunts which can sustain them for months at a time in some cases.)

- To do this we aim to plant 1 million indigenous trees a year, and have put in place a number closely monitored initiatives to protect these forests and the wildlife within them, and more importantly the special people who live in the area.

Exciting stuff... no???!

The slight catch (but the BEAUTY of it all!) is that we are moving into a bare, concrete shell of a building with no electricity and no running water or phone signal of any sort, 3 hours from the nearest town! Yikes!

CONS:

- No phone, no internet, no TV, no fridge, no stove, no hot water, no lighting... ET CETERA!

PROS:

- Lovely warm nights outside (watching fireflies!), dinner by candle-light, braais every night (BBQs to those who don't know what 'braai's are...), river swimming, glorious hot days, no TV, no phone, night sounds, fireside philosophy - oh it's ENDLESS!

What a lucky little fish I am!

There will be a lot of work to do as we aim to get all up to scratch and connected so we can run the place like an office as well as a home. Boreholes need to be dug, satellite dishes arranged, a generator got, internet set up etc.... and lots of lovely work on the house to make it more homely and cosy for us (hot shower would be nice, and a lick of paint... a bed...). We are also going to be designing and building a few lodges as accommodation for potential hunts that are arranged and hopefully for some future eco-tourism as the spot is truly touched by the gods... achingly beautiful.

Now we need to just get through these last 6 weeks of work and sort out all the boring stuff us humans have to do like packing, shipping, tickets and all that nonsense.

Well that is the intro folks, 47 sleeps to go... and counting!